The Hitcher
2006
Starring: Sean Bean, Sophia Bush, Zachary Knighton, Neil McDonough
Director: David Meyers
Runtime: 90 Minutes
Distributor: Focus Features
Rating: R
With Hollywood seemingly intent on remaking every classic that ever was, it can only be assumed that it is part of a grand effort to feng-shui the mansions of Fox executives with their entire back catalog. Picture the prints of every title placed equidistant from its remake on opposite sides of the room so that the harmonies might resonate, attune, and maybe then generate some fresh and new ideas for once. With this in mind, we come to The Hitcher, a “re imagining” (because remake apparently equates to “shit” these days for some unimaginable reason) of an absolutely first class and much underrated killer thriller from 1986. Not in line with the avalanche of killer films of the 80’s, ‘The Hitcher’ draws closer parallels with Duel and The Terminator in that an unstoppable killing machine in the form of a hitchhiker, played in this case by Rutger Haur then and Sean Bean here, relentlessly stalks his helpless prey without respite or mercy showing no pity or regard for his own life in the process. If the remake could capture anything like the original’s dark and brooding atmosphere, then we are certainly set for a winner.
Unfortunately handing it to a debut director whose only experience was creating music videos for manufactured artists the likes of Jennifer Lopez was not the wisest choice. Cringe then, as the film begins and out rolls every tired horror cliché there is. Clean cut, naive young teens from big city decide to drive across the desert? Check. A Pitch-black night setting, pouring down with rain? Check. A creepy looking, Deliverance knock-off clerk at service stop? Check.
From this point on David Meyers attempts to tether himself to safety by retreating behind what is essentially a scene for scene remake of the original, offering almost no real deviation. This might help his cause if only he were willing to actually let the film settle, generate a little tension and allow the audience to take in what’s happening. Soaking in the subtle transformation of the terrified victims as their own humanity is slowly eroded through the escalating torment of this empty psychopath would be quite nice and is also sort of the whole point. The two kids seem affable enough, but the parts are so underwritten that they really have nothing to work with and end up being generic college teens who haven’t even been deemed worthy of being given the token serial killer victim back story of an unplanned pregnancy or the like to fight over.
Taking up the mantle of the psychotic drifter is Sean Bean, whose terrific body of work is finally getting him the workload he deserves post Lord of the Rings, but he really needs to be more picky with his projects because this is just a waste of his talent. A script so thin it’s practically anorexic where not really saying much and staring into the middle distance serve as a substitute for deft, layered nihilism reduce him to acting with his three-day old stubble and unsurprisingly there is absolutely no chemistry between the cast, and nothing approaching the all inescapable menace or the original.
Even more limiting is the lack of any intelligent subtext in the direction. Where as in the original incarnation the vast desert locations were employed to act as a suffocating expanse - much like the ocean in Jaws – here Meyers resorts to mechanical set ups with insultingly obvious camerawork that can only possibly exist in order to telegraph that big scare we clearly know is coming; “Look, see what I did there, damn that’s cool!” No, it’s detracting! This is without even mentioning the several gratuitous underwear shots that – whilst fulfilling the required contractual obligations of titillation – are total beside the point. Sitting and watching The Hitcher you can be forgiven for feeling as if there is an invisible hand taking hold of you and hurrying you along to the next set piece by just refusing to trust its audience to be frightened by what’s happening on the screen and to allow the characters to grow organically.
The violence in this film does not mess around; The Hitcher - as it should be - is a bloody affair with the claret flying in all directions and for once no MTV-style chopping. You see much, certainly more than is necessary, but its disciplined and never just gore for gores sake like a Saw. But this does not appear to be enough for Meyers who for some inexplicable reason absolutely insists on embellishing what little tension and suspense exists with over the top stunts that accompany the slaying; cars that don’t just crash but flip 360 degrees and make you wonder if some stock footage of The A-Team has accidentally been spliced into the movie. Ultimately this overkill serves does nothing but diminish the impact of the actually slaying itself.
When the climax does finally arrive it unsurprisingly feels totally at odds with what’s preceded it, because no room was ever allotted for the character to grow or change which considering that the film clocks itself in at a lean ninety minutes is quite incredible. Surely ten more minutes to show us how these people change in light of what has happened to them could have been squeezed in, otherwise what’s the point? Your enjoyment of this by-the-numbers rehash is, in all honesty, directly tied to the level of affection you hold for this original. If you have never seen the 1986 version then this might just do enough to send the odd shiver in the right direction and entertain. But honestly, go and rent the original, not only is it a superb film, but it’s just better than this. It’s as simple as that.
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